The Man List

As a teenager & in my early 20’s the list of must haves in a man was so long: he had to be tall, handsome, ‘GQesque’, romantic, intelligent, well read, exposed, fit, driven, successful, rich, of course a great lover, a good listener, thoughtful, God fearing & church going and of course he must be madly in love with me. If we all put our lists together I can only imagine how many foolscap sheets we would need. Now many years later when I think of this list I break into a smile knowing that it did not have to be so long, plus finding the perfect fit is the tallest order.
Let’s analyze: things like tall dark and handsome translate into attraction and maybe the attraction will be more than skin deep ergo beautiful girl dates ugly man. Rich and successful vs. thoughtful and caring in my book thoughtful and caring wins every time because anyone can become rich and successful but being thoughtful and caring; either he is or he is not. Many times with list in hand we very quickly eliminate a man because he doesn’t look the part or act the part we created in our dream and many times we date a guy simply because he does, forgetting that more than a resume makes for a good relationship. Not to say we should forget the list completely (we can never do that) but we really should focus on those things that reflect the heart of the man as opposed to those that reflect the size of his ego. Time and time again we have seen and heard of beautiful looking couples that fall apart in no time, I used to wonder how that can be, now I know better. Whereas there is no single answer to that question we do have the responsibility to ourselves to do the best we can to mitigate unfulfilled marriages and the rising divorce rate in our generation. No matter how strong and independent we woman are there is certain comfort and security that arises from knowing that you are loved by your man so remember this next time you are armed with your list.