A few weeks ago, I got to chatting with a guy visiting the US from Nigeria, somehow we ended up on a religious topic and I must say he made the most alarming insinuation. I paraphrase: God creates perfection at conception everything after is in the hands of man. For example a drug addict gets pregnant and is blessed with a perfect conception but when that child is born with complications that are a direct result of the mother’s addiction, said complications are on the head of the mother. Though there is logical sense in this analogy his statement spares no circumstance, afterall the bible says “Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me” (Exodus 20:5). This is the very verse his argument is weighted on. Being a Christian liberal, I find more humor in this for I cannot begin to see the sense it makes, I accused him of quoting his pastor and urged him to take the time to think about it for real. This is one of those things about religion that is not black and white as we are sometimes made to think. In my view it is impossible to assume every misfortune or complication that involves a child to be spiritually based; a curse being visited upon the child because of some sin committed by a father or mother. If infact this is the case then shouldn’t all believers be affected afterall we are all sinners. If any church is preaching this then it is wrong and potentially self destructive to the family. For people who are ‘glamoured’ by a pastor will no doubt blame themselves and their forefathers, sparing neither expense nor effort to atone.
Why some women cannot have children, why some children are born deformed, why there are hereditary diseases and genetic mutations that cause complications we may never truly know. What we do know is that science and medicine can explain the cause and the source maybe even the fix and religion will give us faith and strength to get through it all. But the answer to the question “why me?” will always be a mystery and should not be simplified to a sin and a curse.
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I am a Nigerian woman, like so many living away from home in a world that sometimes conflicts with what feels natural to us. We are constantly saying "we no dey do like so" I wonder how we can blend the best of both worlds, our heritage and culture with the ideals of the west to make the best choices for ourselves and our children.
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